Let’s face it. Not everyone you work with on every project is going to be a super star and it’s unreasonable to expect that you will get along perfectly with every member of your team.

So how should a Federal manager deal with under-performing or “dysfunctional” team members?

“Wouldn’t it be great if we could all work under the Zappo’s employment philosophy: Hire slowly, Fire quickly,” said Federal Aviation Administration Program Manager Deb Green in her blog post addressing this topic in the GovLoop community last week.

Since firing is notoriously tough in government, Green offers some substantive steps to address performance issues.

First, Green suggests that managers should check their relationship strategy. What do you know about this team member’s personal life? What do they like to do in their free time?

“People are more likely to use a bit of idle time doing something for someone they know and cares about them than someone who rarely talks to them other than in the form of assigning tasks,” asserts Green.

Spending a few minutes to build a relationship can pay off in the long run. As Andrew Krzmarzick, GovLoop’s Director of Community Engagement, points out “so often we feel as if there needs to be a divide between personal and professional, but the truth is that we’re integrated folks and sometimes failing to perform on the job is a result of stress or emotional fatigue coming from the homefront. Sometimes the first question needs to be, ‘Is everything okay with you?’ vs. ‘What’s wrong with you?'”

Next, Green advises to check out that team member’s workload. What other projects are they working on? Is their performance being affected by rushing through work because they have too much on their plate?

After these initial steps, it’s time to talk to the individual about their performance, or lack thereof.

Such a conversation can be difficult to conduct tactfully without being patronizing. “Being clear on your own intent is an important step,” recommended R. Anne Hull, President of Hull Strategies, LLC. “Make sure it is safe for the person to have this conversation with you by stating your intent up front. That intent needs to be the success of the whole team as well as individual members.”

“Be specific with your examples of what isn’t working for the person and specific with any requests,” Hull added.

Another tip of caution — “Make sure you talk TO the individual, not ABOUT them to others, and express specifically what elements of performance aren’t meeting expectations,” said Lloyd R. James from the Disabled Veterans Outreach Program administered by the Agency for Workforce Innovation. “Most managers I have met talk about the individual and sometimes the person they are talking to is ten times more dysfunctional than the person being talked about.”

Green also reminds us that conversations must be two-way, not a monologue that managers read to their employees. “Reality is based on perception, so some folks may think they’re doing exactly what they need to! And most employees, even if they don’t work for you, want to do a good job.” Tying back to the first step, the problem they are having may have nothing to do with work itself — it may be more connected to their personal life. By creating these connections you can build trust that will help if situations like this arise.

The final and perhaps most crucial piece to this conversation is: ask your team member how you can help them be more successful. Whether this means creating a task manager for them, providing more feedback, or changing your leadership style, this constructive piece of the conversation is the ticket to better performance.

“I don’t think anyone comes to work wanting to have a bad day or do a bad job,” said Bob Ragsdale, Vice President of Marketing at MicroPact. “I try to work under the assumption that my team members want to do well and want to be recognized for what they bring to the table. Therefore I place an emphasis in understanding what is is they want to achieve, what they believe their skills are, and how we can jointly work to align those goals and skills with the organizational goals. It certainly takes a little more work upfront to make that happen but the outcomes in terms of improved well being and productivity are well worth it.”

Bill Brantley, a Human Resource Specialist at the US Office of Personnel Management (OPM), also recommended that we examine ourselves and our practices throughout this process. “As a team leader, are you doing a good job? Is their ‘dysfunction’ a reflection/reaction to your dysfunction?”

Federal managers that follow these steps — evaluating themselves before critiquing their teams — might find it frustrating or time-consuming at first, but in the end it creates a more productive work environment for everyone.

As Green points out, “if we tried to get rid of everyone that ever rubbed us the wrong way, we’d be alone – and that doesn’t help anyone accomplish the task at hand.”

About the author: Allison Primack is a GovLoop Graduate Fellow and a Graduate Student at the Trachtenberg School of Public Policy and Administration at the George Washington University.